Monday, December 13, 2021

Cripples at Christmas 2021: Annual Cartoon Series

 Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Festivus! I hope you enjoy this year's round of cartoons! Image description under each drawing. 


When Santa’s team diversified and hired Gimpy, Gimpy’s neurogenic bladder caused some serious Christmas Eve delays…

     When Santa’s team diversified and hired Gimpy, Gimpy’s neurogenic bladder caused some serious Christmas Eve delays…

 

Image: Three reindeer lined up beside each other with one saying, “Dude’s been trying to pee for 45 minutes. We’re supposed to be in China now!” A speech bubble from a voice out of view says, “Can someone turn on the water?”

 


The adapted matching family pajamas were a lot less adorable when the price became clear…

    The adapted matching family pajamas were a lot less adorable when the price became clear…

 

Image: Three sets of pjs with a Christmas tree top and striped pants and the heading,“‘Regular’ Matching Christmas PJs: $50” beside three sets of pjs with a reindeer face top and plain pants. The second heading says, “Adapted matching Christmas PJs: $150”

 


Two standing stick figures and a wheelie stick figure near a large door and a sign reading, “Caution: door is heavy.” The wheelchair user states, “Santa’s Workshop? More like Santa’s Jerkshop! So much for the inclusion campaign!”

     Another Year and Santa’s Workshop Had No Automatic Doors

 

Image: Two standing stick figures and a wheelie stick figure near a large door and a sign reading, “Caution: door is heavy.” The wheelchair user states, “Santa’s Workshop? More like Santa’s Jerkshop! So much for the inclusion campaign!”

 

A calendar with 24 spaces is filled in with various doctor specialties including gynecologist, urologist, gastroenterologist, spine specialist, orthopedic, podiatrist, orthotist, dentist, opthamologist, neurologist, and psychologist. Also mentioned are blood tests, internist (flummoxed by your many issues), a urodynamics test, “urologist again,” “Botox for spazzy arm” “gastro again,” and “wheelchair clinic after 6 month wait.” A wheelchair user asks, “Where’s the candy  The “Doctor A Day” Advent Calendar Was Markedly Less Charming Than the “Chocolate A Day” Version

 

Image: A calendar with 24 spaces is filled in with various doctor specialties including gynecologist, urologist, gastroenterologist, spine specialist, orthopedic, podiatrist, orthotist, dentist, opthamologist, neurologist, and psychologist. Also mentioned are blood tests, internist (flummoxed by your many issues), a urodynamics test, “urologist again,” “Botox for spazzy arm” “gastro again,” and “wheelchair clinic after 6 month wait.” A wheelchair user asks, “Where’s the candy?”

 

Image: A stick figure in a wheelchair wearing an elf hat sits by a Boggle game represented by letters with motion lines. The person states, “This assignment really isn’t working out.”

 The elf with the CP Startle Reflex Went For A Vocational Rehab Consult After Years of Assembling Boggle Games Had Frayed His Nerves

 

Image: A stick figure in a wheelchair wearing an elf hat sits by a Boggle game represented by letters with motion lines. The person states, “This assignment really isn’t working out.”

 

Two ambulatory figures in elf outfits sit on a mantle beside an elf in a wheelchair. Various speech bubbles are shown drifting from “The Land of Unsolicited Opinions” such as “Cinnamon yoga!” “Cinnamon works wonders! And it’s natural!” “I sell cinnamon smoothies!” and “My cousin is a cinnamon spiritual healer!” The wheelchair user muses aloud: “Does Stacey seriously think my devastating, lifelong joint pain can be solved with cinnamon?”  *In Elf on the Shelf lore, cinnamon is considered like vitamins for elves

Image: Two ambulatory figures in elf outfits sit on a mantle beside an elf in a wheelchair. Various speech bubbles are shown drifting from “The Land of Unsolicited Opinions” such as “Cinnamon yoga!” “Cinnamon works wonders! And it’s natural!” “I sell cinnamon smoothies!” and “My cousin is a cinnamon spiritual healer!” The wheelchair user muses aloud: “Does Stacey seriously think my devastating, lifelong joint pain can be solved with cinnamon?” 

*In Elf on the Shelf lore, cinnamon is considered like vitamins for elves


An Operation board game box with the text “Now featuring: Fucked Up Spine, Weirdly Deformed Hip, Arthritic Knee, Dislocated Shoulder, Spastic Foot, and Neurogenic Bladder”

   “Operation” Came Out With A New Edition To Be More Relatable For Disabled Folks This Christmas

 

Image: An Operation board game box with the text “Now featuring: Fucked Up Spine, Weirdly Deformed Hip, Arthritic Knee, Dislocated Shoulder, Spastic Foot, and Neurogenic Bladder”


Image: A reindeer with a tube in its belly next to a can of formula that reads: “Kate Farms ‘Magic Reindeer’ Made with Real Glitter 100% Oatmeal
    For the Local Reindeer With a G-Tube, The Formula Version of Magic Reindeer Food Was A Welcome Surprise

 

Image: A reindeer with a tube in its belly next to a can of formula that reads: “Kate Farms ‘Magic Reindeer’ Made with Real Glitter 100% Oatmeal


Image: A sign that says “Introducing…the RoHoHoHo! ‘Superior Pressure Relief From the Folks Who Brought You Christmas!”


  Eager to Get In On the Pressure Sore Prevention Market, Santa’s Workshop Put A Festive Spin On Wheelchair Cushions

 

Image: A sign that says “Introducing…the RoHoHoHo‘Superior Pressure Relief From the Folks Who Brought You Christmas!”


Image: A drawing of Santa saying “Tell the accessible media department we had lots of assholes this year.”

     A request for a large print naughty list had Santa’s paper budget stretched thin…

 

Image: A drawing of Santa saying “Tell the accessible media department we had lots of assholes this year.”

 

A paratransit bus with the sign: “ETA: No fucking clue”

“The Night Before the Night Before The Night Before Christmas” Told the Tale of Disabled People Boarding Paratransit A Few Days Early, Hoping to Make Christmas Dinner on Time

 

Image: A paratransit bus with the sign: “ETA: No fucking clue”

 

Image: A line of wheelchair users in Santa hats under a lit marquee advertising a sold out concert.

A Disabled Christmas Choir Performed Their Smash Hit, “O, Rolly Night”

 

Image: A line of wheelchair users in Santa hats under a lit marquee advertising a sold out concert.


No comments:

Post a Comment