I’m sure you all have seen it. Something unbelievable has occurred. A person without a disability helped a person with a disability. This week on Buzzfeed, there has been quite a lot of… well, buzz, about a McDonald’s employee stopping to help a man with a power wheelchair cut his food in Chicago. A young girl, Destiny Carreno, proceeded to photograph the event, and as of today it has more than 250,000 “shares” in cyberspace. The Internet is lighting up with lots of “ooohs,” “ahhs,” and “that’s inspirationals!” Ask me what I think. Please do. And I’ll tell you this isn’t news. Not news. Not news. Will never be news.
Don’t misunderstand me. Kindness is a great thing. Acts of kindness make the world go ‘round. But just because the receiver of kindness is disabled, it doesn’t mean that this should be viewed as anything other than ordinary. Putting able-bodied people on a pedestal for showing kindness to disabled person makes it seem as though we are meant to be ignored, ostracized, or forgotten unless an able-bodied person feels like paying attention to us. What’s more is that Carreno photographed the scene without permission, and posted it for all to ogle at as though the disabled man were a museum piece, an exhibition used to earn “likes.” In all the news coverage, the employee is identified as Kenny. And the disabled man? Has no name. It is unnerving that in the year 2015, able-bodied people are still given excessive praise for showing disabled people basic civility. In stories like these, which make a spectacle of the daily lives of disabled people for the sake of a “feel good” moment, archaic attitudes of pity and paternalism are allowed to persist.
When we sanctify others for helping people with disabilities, we reveal the saddening truth that authentic inclusion remains the exception and not the expectation in our society. True inclusion happens quietly. There is no fanfare. There are no cameras. There are only people, who support each other because that is the way a community works. Articles like the one about Kenny, on the surface, seem to show how “far we have come.” Upon closer inspection, however, the fact that a story like this is considered news only shows how far we have to go.
People with disabilities are not nameless, faceless commodities that exist to make others feel good. We do not exist to be passive recipients of help, or to be the benchmark for your compassion. And if simply being with us is the making of a news article, then inclusion…or even basic generosity, is still too rare for comfort. And let it be known, once and for all, that disabled people can give help too. So, before you click “like”, consider this. Perhaps this man with a disability only wanted to eat his lunch. Perhaps Kenny only wanted to help him out, and thought of his decision as nothing remarkable. And then consider this. What a remarkable world it would be if people with disabilities were counted as neighbors, friends, parents, siblings, employees, sons and daughters who deserve to belong at all times, and not just when the media needs a “touching” video. Events like these should be so ordinary that onlookers yawn and go back to trying out Instagram filters on photos of their food. We’re not specimen. We’re not fodder for your service project or objects you can use to prove your own morality. If you want to feel warm inside, get a cup of coffee. There’s plenty to go around at McDonald’s.
Author's note: If you need the context of the news article, please Google it on your own. I figure it's best not to provide a direct link, in order to not further contribute to the vast number of people participating in the consumption of inspiration porn.
Wow!...such an angry tone...won't share anything like that again...I'd share a mother interacting respectfully with their obnoxious child too if it had been available... I enjoy sharing ALL kinds of respectful, thoughtful posts...my intent was just to remind myself & others to pay attention to those who may need help...which I personally try to practice...ReplyDelete
I agree with you that kindness is very very important. However, when helping other people becomes a news story, that means it is not yet natural in our culture. We should be able to show empathy and decency to others without public praise. Also, it is extremely disrespectful to both men to record their interaction without consent. Perhaps they were just trying to go through life, and instead, became a Buzzfeed story without permission. The disabled man wasn't even given the dignity of a name, which implies that his identity is not important and treats him as a means of measuring the benevolence of the non-disabled population. People need to learn to be kind and to let others be kind without any fanfare... treat it as an expectation, not an internet sensation. What's more is we should be talking about how we've built a society that leaves people without the resources to get the assistance they need. If we have in fact made such progress, our policies should make it a human right for people with disabilities to easily receive support for activities of daily living such as eating. That this man has wait around hoping a cashier will help him is shameful.
*has TO wait aroundDelete
This is fantastic - and spot on. Thank you for writing it so eloquently. I'll share!ReplyDelete
Unknown, you can share whatever you want. Nobody said that you couldn't. You're making this issue about you, when it's about really about a disabled people getting absolutely no respect. Please read the author's words again.ReplyDelete
Sitting ovation! And by the way - I was called bitter for my response to this. Some people just don't get it.ReplyDelete
Loved this. My son has CP and those stories always bother me.ReplyDelete
thank you. and thanks for your support!Delete