I’m
sure you all have seen it. Something unbelievable has occurred. A person without a disability helped a
person with a disability. This week on Buzzfeed, there has been quite a lot
of… well, buzz, about a McDonald’s employee stopping to help a man with a power
wheelchair cut his food in Chicago. A young girl, Destiny Carreno, proceeded to
photograph the event, and as of today it has more than 250,000 “shares” in
cyberspace. The Internet is lighting up with lots of “ooohs,” “ahhs,” and
“that’s inspirationals!” Ask me what I think. Please do. And I’ll tell you this
isn’t news. Not news. Not news. Will never be news.
Don’t
misunderstand me. Kindness is a great thing. Acts of kindness make the world go
‘round. But just because the receiver of kindness is disabled, it doesn’t mean
that this should be viewed as anything other than ordinary. Putting able-bodied
people on a pedestal for showing kindness to disabled person makes it seem as
though we are meant to be ignored, ostracized, or forgotten unless an able-bodied
person feels like paying attention to us. What’s more is that Carreno
photographed the scene without permission, and posted it for all to ogle at as
though the disabled man were a museum piece, an exhibition used to earn
“likes.” In all the news coverage, the employee is identified as Kenny. And the
disabled man? Has no name. It is unnerving that in the year 2015, able-bodied
people are still given excessive praise for showing disabled people basic
civility. In stories like these, which make a spectacle of the daily lives of
disabled people for the sake of a “feel good” moment, archaic attitudes of pity
and paternalism are allowed to persist.
When we sanctify others for helping people
with disabilities, we reveal the saddening truth that authentic inclusion
remains the exception and not the expectation in our society. True inclusion
happens quietly. There is no fanfare. There are no cameras. There are only
people, who support each other because that is the way a community works.
Articles like the one about Kenny, on the surface, seem to show how “far we have
come.” Upon closer inspection, however, the fact that a story like this is
considered news only shows how far we have to go.
People
with disabilities are not nameless, faceless commodities that exist to make
others feel good. We do not exist to be passive recipients of help, or to be
the benchmark for your compassion. And if simply being with us is the making of
a news article, then inclusion…or even basic generosity, is still too rare for
comfort. And let it be known, once and for all, that disabled people can give
help too. So, before you click “like”, consider this. Perhaps this man with a
disability only wanted to eat his lunch. Perhaps Kenny only wanted to help him
out, and thought of his decision as nothing remarkable. And then consider this.
What a remarkable world it would be if people with disabilities were counted as
neighbors, friends, parents, siblings, employees, sons and daughters who
deserve to belong at all times, and not just when the media needs a “touching”
video. Events like these should be so ordinary that onlookers yawn and go back
to trying out Instagram filters on photos of their food. We’re not specimen.
We’re not fodder for your service project or objects you can use
to prove your own morality. If you want to feel warm inside, get a cup of
coffee. There’s plenty to go around at McDonald’s.
Author's note: If you need the context of the news article, please Google it on your own. I figure it's best not to provide a direct link, in order to not further contribute to the vast number of people participating in the consumption of inspiration porn.
Wow!...such an angry tone...won't share anything like that again...I'd share a mother interacting respectfully with their obnoxious child too if it had been available... I enjoy sharing ALL kinds of respectful, thoughtful posts...my intent was just to remind myself & others to pay attention to those who may need help...which I personally try to practice...
ReplyDeleteHello,
DeleteI agree with you that kindness is very very important. However, when helping other people becomes a news story, that means it is not yet natural in our culture. We should be able to show empathy and decency to others without public praise. Also, it is extremely disrespectful to both men to record their interaction without consent. Perhaps they were just trying to go through life, and instead, became a Buzzfeed story without permission. The disabled man wasn't even given the dignity of a name, which implies that his identity is not important and treats him as a means of measuring the benevolence of the non-disabled population. People need to learn to be kind and to let others be kind without any fanfare... treat it as an expectation, not an internet sensation. What's more is we should be talking about how we've built a society that leaves people without the resources to get the assistance they need. If we have in fact made such progress, our policies should make it a human right for people with disabilities to easily receive support for activities of daily living such as eating. That this man has wait around hoping a cashier will help him is shameful.
*has TO wait around
DeleteThis is fantastic - and spot on. Thank you for writing it so eloquently. I'll share!
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteUnknown, you can share whatever you want. Nobody said that you couldn't. You're making this issue about you, when it's about really about a disabled people getting absolutely no respect. Please read the author's words again.
ReplyDeleteSitting ovation! And by the way - I was called bitter for my response to this. Some people just don't get it.
ReplyDeleteThanks girl
DeleteLoved this. My son has CP and those stories always bother me.
ReplyDeletethank you. and thanks for your support!
Delete