Santa proudly
paid the bail when the misfit toys were arrested for protesting Medicaid cuts. A group of
misfit toys including the spotted elephant, square-wheeled train, and Charlie
in the box are holding picket signs that say #SaveMedicaid. The spotted
elephant is saying “I’ve never been prouder to be on the naughty list.”
1 Concerned about
his poor spatial skills, the sheep led the shepherd with CP to Bethlehem.
Three sheep are leading a
shepherd in a wheelchair who is holding a staff. One sheep is saying “So we’re
not traditional. Who cares?”
1 Elf in the
Overpriced Posture Support Chair lacked the same ring as Elf on the Shelf. Two
ambulatory elves stand on a shelf. Below them, an elf sits in a chair with
handles and a backrest. He is saying “Oh well. They say the shelf is overrated
anyway.”
1 The CPer’s mishap
with Dragon Naturally Speaking* accidentally landed her on the naughty list.
A stick
figure in a wheelchair is saying “I swear Santa; I meant to type Easy Bake
Oven, not Easy B*tch Oven.” Santa replies, “That is quite the typo!”
*Dragon is a
speech to text software to facilitate hands free typing.
1 The athletes in
the adapted reindeer games were sick of being treated like “inspiration porn.”
A reindeer wearing dark glasses is saying “My story’s not even particularly
touching. I was blinded by a flying gumdrop!” Another reindeer, with slightly
askew eyes looking in different directions is saying “Preach brother!” A nearby
sign reads SPECIAL REINDEER SHOW COURAGE BY EXISTING.”
The two guests
with CP* found each other at the interfaith holiday celebration. One stick
figure in a wheelchair is saying “No one ever asks me to light the Figgie
Pudding. Something about motor skills.” Another stick figure in a wheelchair is
saying “Same with me and the menorah. Same sh*t, different holiday.”
*CP= cerebral palsy
1 The wheelie could
not understand why everyone hoped he wasn’t their Secret Santa. A stick figure
in a wheelchair with a Santa hat is saying “I thought the jumbo box of
healthcare gloves was a cool gift!” A walking stick figure with a Santa hat is
saying “Don’t take this the wrong way, but most people want chocolate or
something.”
One sweater is labeled
UGLY- $20.00. Another is labeled SPECIAL AND UGLY- $200.00. Bottom text says
“Sweaters that make you say ho ho ho. Prices that make you say ho ho holy
sh*t!”
1 The disabled
gingerbread man could not sleep in heavenly peace because he had no PA* to put
him in bed.
A
gingerbread man with candy cane style walking canes is saying “Sleep in
heavenly peace? I wish I could sleep at all!”
*PA= personal
assistant
1 Riding the North
Pole Paratransit bus was known among the regulars as “Jingle Hell.” A stick
figure in a wheelchair wearing a Santa hat is saying “Still waiting… maybe I’ll
get to the Christmas party by Easter.”
The Kit Kat bar
shortage greatly impacted the quest for accessible housing in the gingerbread
village.
A
gingerbread man stands beside a gingerbread house and a nearby sign reads: RAMP
CONSTRUCTION CURRENTLY ON HOLD. The gingerbread man is saying “Kit Kats make
such good ramps!”
We won’t go until we get some,”
they said. Then Access-A-Ride showed up an hour early.
A stick figure in a
wheelchair is singing, “We all want some Figgie pudding…” and stops abruptly
states: “Oh, never mind! Gotta go before the bus leaves!” Another wheelie is
saying “Damn it. They’re usually late!”