Descriptions below each image
1. The Polar Express Paratransit Call Center Was Rebranded The Polar Vortex…
A wheelchair user stick figure saying “Hi? Hello?! Is anybody there?” Instructions state: “Dial 1 to locate buses missing since last Christmas, Dial 2 to have your complaint ignored, Dial 3 to scream into the void.”
2. The New Line of “Magical Standing Gear” for Elf on the Shelf Wasn’t Magical Enough for the Elf with CP…
An elf wearing pink sneakers modeled after the real-life “standing gear” for Elf on the Shelf and lying on the floor. The speech bubble says “Welp. I still fell on my ass. I want my money back!”
Tiny Tim wearing a black hat while he stands encased by a large blue gait trainer. A speech bubble reads, “So it’s a little less poetic but this gait trainer is so much better on my shoulders.” An excerpt from A Christmas Carole above his head reads, “Alas, for Tiny Tim, he bore a little crutch and had his limbs supported by an iron frame.” There is a strikethrough over “little crutch” and it is replaced by “massive gait trainer.”
A quartet of stick figure wheelchair users sing “Two nitrile gloves and a partridge in a pear treeeeeee!” The two turtle doves look on, with a speech bubble reading, “It would seem we’ve been replaced.”
A monopoly board game box that reads, “Monopoly: Disabled Housing Edition” and the words, “Good luck finding any properties” and “Money not included.” Santa says to an elf, “What do you mean every property is a cardboard box?”
A stick figure boy with a drum set, shouting, “Ow! My shoulder!”, “Ow! My foot!”, “Ow! My back!” Above his head are the words, “Introducing…the Little Bummer Boy!”
Two stick figure wheelchair users are chatting and one says, “What do you mean you still believe in competent case managers? That’s just a story to lift the mood…” Santa looks on, saying, I told you I was real…”
8. When the Cabbage Patch Kids with Disabilities Became Cabbage Patch Adults, They Were Immediately Sent to the Island of Misfit Toys…
A doll using forearm crutches is speaking to a baby doll who is holding a bottle and wearing a bonnet in a nearby carriage bearing an accessible symbol. The adult doll says, “What do you mean, island of misfit toys?! Inclusive toys are in!” The baby doll replies, “Erm…to a point. Disabled adults don’t really fit the aesthetic.” A Christmas tree stands in the corner of the room.
9. Increased Demand for Inclusive Baby Dolls Had Santa’s Busy Season Starting Way Earlier…
A heading reads, “Premature baby doll! Must be delivered by Halloween.” A baby doll wearing a bonnet and holding a bottle sits in a carriage. On the front of the carriage is an accessible symbol and the words, “(Really Really Really) Bitty Baby.” Santa, standing nearby shouts, “This is bullshit!”
A wheelchair user says, “Please Santa! None of the other toys want to hang out!” A home health aide represented by an ambulatory stick figure yells, “You should have a coat on, sweetie!” Santa replies, “Selling separately would be a liability, Barbie…”
A line of socks with grips hanging on the mantle of a fireplace with the quote, “Their grippy socks were hung by the chimney with care.”
A Connect Four board game box reads, “Connect Four (Mystery Symptoms)” and the words, “1. 2. 3. 4. Strange Undiagnosed Condition. An inclusive twist on a classic! *Gaslighter doctor not included, but easily acquired.” Two stick figure wheelchair users are chatting, and one exclaims, “They had me at weird knee pain!”
