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Saturday, January 2, 2021

A Poem About 2020... Because What On Earth Was That?!

 

As 2021 begins, rather than subject you to a blow by blow summary post on social media, I offer you this poem about 2020, a year that was a collective "WTF?" In the spirit of "womp womp womp," the poem is accompanied by a photo of the seeds I planted during quarantine that.... grew into thriving sunflowers, a metaphor for our resilience and strength amid the pandemic. Er... just kidding. Most failed to sprout and the ones that did quickly withered and died.

Happy New Year! For the love of God, may this one be better.


New Year’s Eve

 

2020 wasn’t great

In fact, not good at all

For most, the year was just a string

Of bummers big and small

 

We made our vision boards

But they soon came crashing down

Our to do lists were upended 

When corona came to town

 

The brand-new year before us

Didn’t match up with our plans

The universe called out to us

“Shut up and wash your hands!”

 

In March we made some #Goals

Grew plants, baked homemade bread

By May, we barely brushed our teeth

And all the plants were dead

 

Our Pinterest boards

Once full of clever projects

Soon went stale

Our “recipe a day” collections 

Deemed an epic fail

 

Now we Google “what are days?” 

Is time even a thing?

And thank the Lord that Taylor Swift

Still felt like she could sing

 

The news shows are a mess

But the memes just keep improving

Our pets are glued upon our laps

And swear they’re never moving

 

We’ve taught our elders how to Zoom

At least, we’ve bravely tried

We’ve worn our crusty sweatsuits

Watched old TV and cried

 

 

Spent too much time on WebMD

Had acne from our masks

 Felt wildly accomplished for doing basic tasks

 

Refreshed our browsers many times

And realized, with despair

That the same five Apple news alerts 

And emails are still there

 

And somehow, here we sit

Another New Year’s Eve

No platitudes can change the fact

That there’s a lot to grieve

 

But maybe we’ll come through this

With a little more compassion

With fewer judgey comments

On one another’s fashion

 

…I truly think that you look hot

In gray from head to toe

And I still think you’re awesome

If your basil didn't grow

 

If you didn’t do Zoom yoga

Pick up French or learn to skate

If all you did was cry and eat

I still think that you’re great

 

It’s a legendary feat

To make it through the day

Can we all agree that Pinterest 

Is bullshit anyway?

 

One day we’ll look back 

And we won’t think about our hair

Our neighbor Karen’s sourdough

Or pictures in neat squares

 

We’ll remember all the loved ones

Who helped carry us through

All the folks who lent a hand

And all the hearts that grew

 

And all the healthcare heroes

Who gave their very best

Whose brilliant minds and gentle hands

Helped conquer this great test

Here’s to 2021

With better days ahead

We’ve all had our fill

Of existential dread

 

So, let’s make room for joy

Push this shitshow out the door

And think about a future

Full of hugs galore!

 

 

I have a bunch of hugs 

That are sorely overdue

And you can rest assured 

That one is meant for you.

 


Stay safe. Wear a mask. Thank you healthcare workers.

 

 

An egg carton full of dirt, containing seeds that never grew
Image: An egg carton full of dirt, containing seeds that never grew. Next to it is a spray bottle of disinfectant that I almost squirted on them instead of water, which is in the other spray bottle.

2 comments:

  1. Brilliant, funny, and catchy. What a treat it was to hear you read this during the talent show.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is nothing short of wonderful!❤️

    ReplyDelete