Tuesday, January 12, 2016

A "Big Kid" Who Was Kind and the Little Girl Who Never Forgot

This piece was originally written in February 2015. I am re-posting it here on my personal blog as I will be doing with all pieces that were previously only posted on the site The Mighty. The Mighty has become increasingly disrespecful toward both disabled writers and non-disabled writers who have called for changes on the site. Recent poor editorial choices have allowed for the sharing of posts that violate the dignity and privacy of people with disabilities, as well as those that promote rhetoric that characterizes us as burdens. After a disappointing lack of response from the site's administrators, I can no longer allow my pieces on The Mighty.  Just as before, this essay is dedicated to Jessica Delarosa.

It’s funny to write about this now, because so much time has passed. But at the same time, I suppose those are the acts of love that stay with you. The ones that transcend time and space, and lift you up again when you forget that in spite of all its challenges, the world can be truly good. Moments like those have no expiration date, and so I return to a simple act of kindness shown to me nearly thirteen years ago.
I was nine years old, a newbie at summer camp for kids with disabilities. I had never been away from home before, and the three weeks I would spend away from my mom and dad at the time seemed insurmountable. I didn’t make myself easy to be around that summer. I made a point to be a cranky almost fourth grader who told anyone and everyone how much I wanted to go home. Let’s say I was not a blast around the campfire.
Looking back, I wouldn’t blame anyone for being downright fed up at my insistence on being loudly, unapologetically homesick. I guess this is the part where I should mention that I had long, blonde hair that reached all the way down to my butt. On a good day, it was Rapunzel hair; on a bad day, it was tangle city. For the counselors, managing my unruly hair was just another challenge I presented that summer to go along with my less than “happy camper” mood. One day, when my hair had gone particularly nuts, everyone was feeling the stress. What to do with this child and her nearly twelve inches of crazy curls?
That’s when I met Jessica, who had decided enough was enough. Jessica was eighteen that summer, confident, surrounded by friends, and a veteran camper. She had every reason not to bother with a moody kid in a rickety purple wheelchair, much less to bother with my mess of hair. But Jessica’s magic was that instead of coming up with reasons not to bother, she went out of her way to care. With her classic tone of “never give up” determination, she pulled me aside and announced matter of factly, “We’re going to do something about that hair.” And anyone who’s ever met Jess knows that when she has a mission, she means business.
Before long, I was in the older girls’ bunk, my wheelchair parked in front of Jess’s wheelchair, having my hair braided in neat corn rows that she promised would make things so much easier. There she was, helping a little girl she barely knew, all the while telling me how pretty my hair was. As she braided, she showed me pictures from when she was a kid, and this strange new place felt a little more familiar.

I grew to love camp more than any place in the world. I grew to love Jess and call her a friend. But as long as I live, I will never forget when we were strangers, and she made the choice to be kind. To a little kid who felt alone and small, her simple good deed seemed so warm and reassuring. That little kid will be 22 this week, and still that moment brings a smile to her face. Never underestimate the power of a kind act. Just taking one moment to be gentle can show someone that when there is love, we are never far from home.


Image: 2014, me and Jessica in our wheelchairs in a grassy area at our childhood summer camp.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Cripples At Christmas Cartoons 2015


CRIPPLED AT CHRISTMAS 2015
A slightly off color snarky cartoon collection starring a team of delightfully disabled friends. I'm thrilled to share the holiday season with you through the eyes of exquisitely drawn gimpy stick figures. Please enjoy this politically incorrect celebration of Christmas fun. Some of us are not "dashing through the snow" and this year, we will be heard! (Image descriptions are located below each corresponding, poorly drawn cartoon).

On the first day of Christmas…

Image- Stick figure in a wheelchair wearing a Santa cap. Beside him is a piece of paper resembling a letter. A bubble reads “Dear Disabled Friend, we look forward to harassing you in 2016. Until then, enjoy your poverty.” Headline above the drawing says: THE BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT OF ALL WAS NOT GETTING REVIEWED AT SOCIAL SECURITY THIS MONTH.


On the second day of Christmas…

Image- Stick figure in a wheelchair wearing a Santa hat. Thought bubble reads: “Finally! Something we can all get behind”. Next to her are two holiday themed cups that say “Christmas crippacino.” Headline above the drawing says: THE DISABILITY PRIDE CUPS AT STARBUCKS CAPTURED THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT IN A WAY THE PLAIN RED ONES COULD NOT.

On the third day of Christmas…
Image- A stick figure in a wheelchair is seated near Santa who is enjoying cookies on a table. Santa’s thought bubble says, “I just love that delicious rehab catalog taste!” The wheelie’s thought bubble says, “Money well spent!”
Text below has a comparison of “typical” cookie cutters ($15) and “adaptive” ones, which are slightly easier to manipulate ($45, + “special fees”)
Headline on top says: SHE JUSTIFIED THE OVERPRICED ADAPTED COOKIE CUTTERS BY CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SANTA WOULD TASTE THE DIFFERENCE.

On the fourth day of Christmas…
Image- A stick figure in a wheelchair near a bed. Surrounded by music notes, it reads “He sees you when you’re sleeping; he knows when you’re awake.” Wheelie’s thought bubble says: I swear; I’m still below the resource limit! And frankly, I wish you’d stop monitoring my sleep schedule.
Headline on top: NO ONE KNEW IF THE LYRICS REFERRED TO SANTA OR A MEDICAID CASE MANAGER…

On the fifth day of Christmas…
Image- a newspaper titled the North Pole Daily bears the headline "Santa demand easier access, says Easter Bunny has had it for years." Beside that is a picket sign that has the words "down the chimney" crossed out and replaced with "down with the chimney!” Headline above: SANTA’S NEW CAUSE, THE COALITION FOR ACCESSIBLE CHIMNEYS, WAS GAINING TRACTION IN THE PRESS.

On the sixth day of Christmas…
Image- Dasher the reindeer beside his little known cousin Limper. Limper’s thought bubble reads “Oh well. Maybe next year, there will be a progressive Christmas special. Then, I'll be famous.” Dasher’s thought bubble reads, “Sorry, cousin. Fame isn't all it's cracked up to be anyway." Headline above: – DASHER HAD A LITTLE KNOWN COUSIN NAMED LIMPER.

On the seventh day of Christmas… Image- Stick figure in a wheelchair seated by a large Christmas tree. Sign nearby says "This holiday, what better way to say ‘I love you’ then a new shower chair? Prices lowered from obscene to upsetting for this joyous season." The stick figure’s thought bubble says “Honestly, I was hoping for an Xbox.” Headline above: DESPITE WHAT THE DURABLE MEDICAL VENDOR SUGGESTED, MY DISABLED FRIEND WAS NOT IN FACT DYING FOR A SHOWER CHAIR BENEATH THE TREE.



 On the eighth day of Christmas… Image- The spotted elephant and the train with square wheels from the movie Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer at a demonstration. The elephant is holding a sign that says “Santa, I don’t need your approval!” and the train is saying “Square wheels. No big deal!” Lower caption says: The Island of Misfit Toys: An Empowered Living Community. Top headline says: THE MISFIT TOY PRIDE MOVEMENT REALLY SPOILED THE STORY LINE.


On the ninth day of Christmas… Image- An ambulatory stick figure with a thought bubble that says "That ramp was delicious! Always the best part!" He is standing beside a gingerbread house decorated with candy. From inside, a voice says "Well, I’m screwed!” Headline above: THE DISABLED GINGERBREAD MAN WAS IN DEEP TROUBLE WHEN SOMEONE ATE HIS RAMP.



 On the tenth day of Christmas…

Image- A snowman walking in winter weather with two crutches resembling candy canes. The thought bubble above his head says “Candy Crutch Saga!” and is filled with dollar signs. Headline says: THE DISABLED SNOWMAN TURNED HIS STRUGGLES TO WALK ON ICY DAYS INTO A WILDLY SUCCESSFUL APP.

On the eleventh day of Christmas…
Image- A stick figure in a wheelchair is lying face down in the snow near a caption that says: fall count: 42. New record! His thought bubble reads “Damn snow!” Headline above: FOR THE WOBBLY FRIENDS WITH CP (CEREBRAL PALSY), "RECORD SNOWFALL HAD A DIFFERENT MEANING.



On the twelfth day of Christmas (or New Year’s Eve)…
Image- A stick figure in a wheelchair in a New Year's Eve party hat. Next to her is a sign that reads “Make your predictions about paratransit fails in 2016. Together, we will watch the ball drop!” Her thought bubble reads “I highly doubt that your lateness was part of a ‘Drop the Ball’ New Year’s theme night.” Headline above: IT SEEMED THAT NEW YEAR’S EVE WASN’T THE ONLY DAY PARATRANSIT DROPPED THE BALL…